Gratitude: The Bridge connecting my past to my present

Gratitude: The Bridge connecting my past to my present

Hello New Year, Hello Dear friends!

Another new year is upon us and if you’re thinking what I am thinking – you’re probably wondering where the time has gone. As busy as life is and how hectic the end of the year always seems to be – I still wind it down and take some time for just me and practice gratitude. This year, my “self-time,” didn’t happen until after the New Year celebrations. It took a couple of days to get my house back in order and another night and day to…(as the medical intuitive teacher Caroline Mysse would say, ) “call my energy back.”  

I found myself thinking “I have so much work to catch up on now that the holidays are over. How am I ever going to get it all done?” I did the things that needed to be done around Christmas while fighting the nasty cold I picked up on my recent trip abroad. Yet,  somehow I still felt as if I didn’t do enough. If I didn’t get my cards out, or get the right gift for someone, or put up my Christmas lights this year…then I thought I must not be up to par. It’s no wonder I woke up grumpy on Sunday morning January 3rd looking for things to blame my mood on. What a self defeating pattern I was allowing myself to run. So, I called my energy back!

I decided to get back into my own groove, return to myself and give myself the gift of time. I started my new year day off with a gentle prayer and meditation. Fortunately, I received some new meditations as a gift from from my professor’s at the University of Santa Monica. Each year the professors and staff at USM invite all the volunteers to a holiday luncheon and our professor’s, Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick, give us something special in gratitude for the time we give them in service to the university. This year they recorded a beautiful series of prayers and meditations. The one I chose to listen to on this day was the meditation on gratitude.

Mary, in her soft, nurturing voice, guides us to take a moment and give thanks for the obvious things in life. Gratitude for the gift of life itself, thanks for the awareness of her open heart, for the opportunity to be of service, to share her blessings with others, and for the knowledge that we are all divine, knowing that we always have a choice on how we want to be in our lives.  During this meditation I allow the things Mary offers in gratitude to resonate inside of me – then Mary leaves open space in the meditation so I may identify the things I am grateful for too. Mary reminds me that this practice helps pull me up and out of the doldrums, the bad mood, and negative voices in my head. It’s a time to re-member myself to my-Self. In other words, to put myself back together as a whole. I am so grateful – if only for that little piece of it, and I want to write it down.

I take my little “gratitude book” with the Zebra print cover that Dr. Bonnie Paul, (co-founder of the non-profit organization “Freedom to Choose”) gave me one day out of the blue. “I saw this book cover and it reminded me of you,” said Bonnie. Freedom to Choose is the team I’ve traveled to the Valley State Prison and California Correction Facility for Women with four times a year for the past 8 years. We serve to help heal the inmates who are serving life sentences for mistakes they have made, or circumstances they found themselves in that may have been out of their control. As I write the things I am grateful for – I add this little book, the woman who gave it to me, and all the inmates I have connected with to my gratitude list. Each time I do this practice I find more things to be grateful for. When I am done – as Mary predicted – I feel SO much better because my heart opens up again and there’s room to see the beauty of life. It’s like pulling back the curtains and letting the sun shine in.

As most of you who have been following my blogs and posts already know, I am embarking on some exciting and challenging career projects. Once again I am following my dreams, this time I have called myself forward using all my skills, talents and life experiences in the world of fashion as a designer in my own right. I’m getting ready to launch my own brand fashion apparel line, and also as a producer, creating a “fashion film” slated to have its “world premier” at the La Jolla International Fashion Film Festival in July 2016. There are crucial deadlines to meet as well as the funds I need to raise to bring this all into fruition. So you can imagine the work I have on my desk right now as my illustrious Siren Star team of lovely, earth angels help me create an Indie-Go-Go fundraiser that will be launched in mid January. My hat is off to these ladies, Cindy, Laura, Virginia and Noe, who’ve been working on this for the past two months! I am so grateful for earth angels.

Meanwhile, my dream is an 18 hour a day – 7 day-a-week dream, including time I spend on all the other responsibilities I have to take care of – one of which has become carrying on the legacy of my former fiancé, our dearly beloved Steve Clark.

The night we got engaged.

Silly Steve Clark with my friend Shawn

Steve Clark Sheffield City Center 1985

Steve Clark Gratitude for Sheffield City Center 1985

This Friday, July 8th  marks the 25th year of his passing and of course I could not let this significant passage of time just go by without a special treat.

In December – after shooting scenes for the fashion film Skin On Skin – Peau sur Peay in Paris I returned to visit Steve’s grave at Wisewood cemetery in Sheffield, England. It was my intention to have a gathering and film at least something on my iPhone with Steve’s loyal friends and fans to share with those of you who could not travel the distance. However, as English weather would have it, it poured rain while the winds whipped and howled over the Yorkshire dales. It was impossible to hold the umbrella, much less keep my camera steady. Even so, we braved the moist and misty weather and held hands around his grave in prayer sending all of our love and yours to his memory. I took what film I could and then we all went over to the Admiral Rodney Pub (where Steve and I used to go) and raise a pint for Steve.  However, we were all so cold and wet we decided on hot apple cider and coca –colas for the “tea totallers’.” Times have changed and not one of us had a proper drink! It made me wonder if Steve would have been a tea totaller by this time too?

Gratitude for Steve Clark

Gratitude for Steve Clark friends and fans everywhere!

We sat by the fireplace for a couple of hours as Mick and Andrew shared their personal memories of Steve and how much they loved him. Andrew worked as a lathe operator alongside Steve, and Mick lived around the corner. Shannon, Lorraine Clark’s eight-year-old daughter, gave me a handmade paper snowflake on behalf of Steve – and sat snuggled up in my arms. Her mum Lorraine is a big fan of the band and Steve – and her daddy Paul, had driven them over an hour and a half in the rain from Doncaster to Sheffield supporting them in their love for Steve.

Friends of Steve Clark

Gratitude for Mick and Andrew friends of Steve Clark

Later a new friend named Rob dropped in to share his story about being at the very first Def Leppard gig ever at a high school in Sheffield! His wife Ann told me her husband (of 20+ years)“claim to fame” has always been that story. Thank goodness he showed up because at that point I could feel a sore throat coming on from the lousy weather and I needed to get some fresh ginger and cayenne pepper to ward off the first tingly signs of a cold. ­­­­­­­­­Rob drove me around Sheffield City center in search of the ingredients for my witch’s brew and then back to the Novotel where I swallowed the hot tea potion and put myself immediately to bed. Once there, I wrapped my throat up with the Clark Clan tartan cashmere scarf from Beverly Knight sent (via Andrew) from Edinburgh, Scotland.

Steve Clark's grave at Wisewood Cemetary

Gratitude fro Steve Clark at his grave at Wisewood Cemetary

Gratitude Bridging my past to my present

One more tid bit…

While I was in Paris I was retracing the footsteps of a young girl who had a dream to be a model and walk the runways of the world. The director Robert E. Ball Jr. decided we should go and film that young girl as she was back then going to work in the “cabine” at the House of Chanel where she got her first break from designer Karl Lagerfeld as his museWhile we were shooting the scene I kept asking God to use me as a channel in this film to inspire people to follow their dreams too…I said “show me what to do father-mother God, let me be a channel for you…” Then the rain began to fall on our film set – right there on the street outside Chanel – but we kept shooting anyway. Poor Mr. Ball with his skinny brim hat on top of his camera to shield it from the rain…me wrapped up in my 80’s fashions and who comes walking down the street but Marianne Williamson!

Marianne Williamson, Lorelei Shellist, India, at Chanel in Paris

Gratitude for Marianne Williamson, me and India, at Chanel in Paris

If you read my book Runway RunAway, you’ll remember Marianne and I met in 1988 in her early days speaking about “A Course in Miracles.” We found ourselves sharing an apartment of a mutual friend of ours in NCY during a trying time for me. Marianne invited me to see her speak that night at a nearby church on Central Park West. I was captivated at the abundance of enlightening information coming out of her mouth. Marianne spoke for over two hours – non-stop – inspiring people to recognize the miracles in their lives, and to shift our perceptions from fear to love. I was riveted, delighted, enthused, and wondering how did she do that?

The next morning in the kitchen I said… “Marianne, you were amazing, how do you memorize all that stuff?” Marianne chuckled at my naivety and innocence and said, “Honey, I don’t memorize anything. I meditate, I ask God to be his channel and use me as her voice. I am just a messenger and I say whatever comes through me.” I was stunned…this was one of the biggest “aha” moments of my life. I never forgot that lesson in the kitchen from Marianne.

That day in December on the Rue Cambon  I recognized the metaphor- I looked up at the CHANEL sign above our heads and thought, “really God, so this how you do it!” I felt God chuckle …this very moment in time represented the bridge from where I was to where I am now – still learning – still creating – still following my dreams …

I am grateful for you. Grateful for your support in my ventures, my wild and wonderful dreams. You give me energy and inspiration and I intend to give it back to you. My art is my way of gifting you with beauty, fashion, and the inspiration to continue to follow your dreams too. Whatever they may be, they are yours and yours alone. When we follow our dreams our hearts expand, because it is in the pursuit of our our dreams that we stretch ourselves and learn who we are… Magnificent! As the gifted author and speaker Marianne Williamson would say, “we are powerful beyond measure.”

 Chanel – Channel…Chuckle…life is but a dream.

Love and Gratitude 2016

Lorelei Shellist

PS: Steve Clark Friends and Fans: Please download the Periscope App to join the  Live Tribute Q & A on January 8th 2016 – 3 PM Pacific Time- 5 PM Central Time – 6 PM Eastern Time -EUROPE  10 PM Paris time and 11 PM UK time. I will be doing a Q & A sent over to me by Beverly Knight – creator and moderator of the http://www.steveclarkguitar.com website.

Blog Pic2

Gratitude for Phil Collen, Steve Clark, Lorelei Shellist, Valerie Mazzonelli,

 

Runway Runaway Fashion: The Journey of a Muse

Runway Runaway Fashion: The Journey of a Muse by Lorelei Shellist

In my last blog I gave you a synopsis of my book Runway Runaway and how it was about following my dreams to travel the world and become a runway model. My book tells the gritty side of a glamorous life. Not to put you off – but to let you know that even when heartfelt dreams come true- there are always challenges along the way. The only reason I was able to write that book was because I survived those challenges and lived to tell the tale. But what I didn’t tell you was how long it took to write-edit- and self publish that book. Remember it wasn’t my idea to write it in the first place. It was the idea of a few tenacious Def Leppard fans who wanted to know the answer to the question of why Steve Clark who seemingly had everything, would take his own life. When I finally wrapped my head around writing a book to satisfy Steve’s fans it was intended to be a book about Steve. Not me.

I finally mustered up the courage to go to NYC to meet with the big literary agents who had replied to my letters. However, the response I got was- “Sorry Lorelei, Steve’s not here to go on Oprah and sell the book- besides we want to hear your story. How did you experience all of that? Go back to Nashville – (where I was living at the time) and write your story.” Well I resisted that idea with all of my might. Who would want to hear my story? I’m not exactly Cindy Crawford. And besides I wouldn’t know how to begin. Then once again the muse began to tug at my sleeve. Everyone I knew argued that I should write the book – of course they would want to read about my life… It was so glamorous and different from theirs. They encouraged me and challenged me until I said ok, I’ll give it a try, and the muse took over.

Book cover - Runway Runaway by Lorelei Shellist fashion model - Lorelei wearing zebra print outfit on turquoise and pink background

Runway Runaway A Backstage pass to Fashion, Romance and Rock ‘N Roll

Runway Runaway Fashion: The Journey of a Muse

Every morning at 6AM I would arrive in front of my computer with a hot cup of PG Tips tea and let my fingers go tapping away on the keyboard. My intention was to write for one hour a day. But each day three hours would pass by without notice and I couldn’t believe what was going down on that screen. It just flowed. Still it took two years from start to finish. Then everything changed – the World Trade Center went down and I put down the book to join the Red Cross clean up the mess where the Twin Towers had once stood high in the sky. A month later I went back to my NY literary agent who told me he was sorry- the publishers weren’t interested in that kind of story now- but if I had a book on terrorism – to bring it on.

Was I disappointed? You bet. I’d just spent two years and a lot of money writing that book. But the world changed on that September day and it was time for everyone, including myself to reassess their lives. I left New York and drove across country to Nashville where I packed up my belongings and headed home to California where it all began. I put my manuscript on the shelf and went back to work as a life-style model in Hollywood. I was forty years old and it was time to pass the “glam-girl” baton to the new faces. The jobs I did now were on cruise ships and cereal boxes and I missed the fashion.
black and white wings with purple heart - I am dreams with wings teen esteem program

Wanting to do something more, I began giving workshops teaching life skills to at-risk -runaway teens. I felt this was my calling and so I went about getting more credentials so I could validate myself as a legitimate counselor. I applied and was accepted into the two year Masters program in Spiritual Psychology at the University of Santa Monica. I dove into those classes like a pelican at feeding time, swallowing every morsel of intelligence available to me.

In the second year of the program we were asked to create and produce something that had heartfelt meaning to us. Something we always wanted to do – but never did, or something we started but never finished.  The muse showed up again and told me to dust off the manuscript that had been shelved for seven years. It was time to finish what I’d started and get that book out into the world. Runway RunAway would become my calling card, opening doors to all the ways I could be of service in the world by sharing my own life experiences and empowering others. My education at USM taught me how to counsel not only myself, but others whose lives had been affected by other people’s addictions. After traveling the country promoting my book, I returned to LA and became a full time volunteer coaching at-risk teens and women living in a maximum security- lock-down prison.

Freedom to Choose

Freedom To Choose Foundation Education for a Second Chance

From behind the gates at Valley State Prison in Chowchilla I’ve sat for hours talking with women dressed in blue whose lives had led them to this cold grey gymnasium looking for someone who will listen to them and treat them like human beings again. I began looking around the room at the unique beauty inherent in each one of them – women from the ages of 18 to 85 who didn’t have the means to shop for chic brands labels. They didn’t have the benefit of a hair colorist or even a manicure. But they all looked amazing to me. I learned that women’s hair starts to go grey at a very young age…and in CCWF they let it grow and flow, because in prison that is the norm. I found their individuality and style inspiring based on the fact that they had such little means to make themselves beautiful by way of consumer products and fashions – but they found a way to express themselves none the less.

I was moved and challenged to understand how and why. I discovered that my lifelong experience in the fashion world was now colliding with my education in spiritual psychology. I began delving deeper into the world beneath that which meets the eye and wrote about it until the muse revealed her message to me again.

Lorelei Shellist Empowerment Speaker conducting seminar

Fashion Icon Archetype Personality Programs® by Lorelei Shellist

In 2014 I founded the Fashion Icon ArchetypesPersonality Programs. A series of inner-style workshops educating people on how to dress from a place inside themselves that is confident, conscious and comfortable. This is not about what your colors are, or what labels you wear…this is about connecting with your “inner- stylist” so you decide what to wear from a place of self-knowing. When you know which archetype personalities are running the show you learn to dress to express who you are – instead of dressing to impress others.

 It was from that mindset that I began to value the opportunities I’d had that put me front row center in those couture houses so I could observe just how fashion was made. My curiosity of the history and meaning of fashion has always moved me. I never really cared to know the answer to the question of what other people were wearing – I am always more interested in why people wear what they wear. Meanwhile, the feedback from my universe tells me that I too have a certain sense of style that stands out amongst the crowd. I wasn’t truly aware I had that gift until others pointed it out. And the muse said, “pay attention to yourself too – what are your gifts?” Another seven years had passed – time to reassess, again!

As I counted the blessings I’d received from these extraordinary life experiences I had chosen to have – the ego aspect of my nature – the part that kept me small – began to shrivel and melt away. And what came forward were new ideas- new dreams – new horizons ahead.

Where was I going with all of this? I didn’t even know myself…But I knew what I wanted. A brand that would inspire people to follow their dreams wherever they would take them. And if their lives consisted of travel- whether for business or pleasure- I wanted to make that easier – more comfortable for them. I wanted to help people feel comfortable inside of their skin – no matter what the situation. At work, at, play, on stage, or on the red carpets and runways of the world.

But the muse is always in charge and no one does all of these things alone, and one never knows where an idea will come from. As a matter of fact, it was my assistant, Cindy Gloeckler, who suggested quite strongly and repeatedly, that I start a fashion apparel line of my own! She said, “Lorelei you are a brand. I want you to start a line of your own and I want to help you do it. ”Every hair on my arm stood up and right there in a beer and burger joint in downtown Cleveland, I said “Are you serious? Be careful what you wish for Cindy because I’ve got an idea.”

The next thing I knew I was sketching my first fashion design on a small piece of notebook paper – “Spinal Tap” style.

The Runway Runaway Collection®

The Runway Runaway Collection®

My own muse appeared once again and The Dream Dress® came through as the signature item for what would become the Runway Runaway Collection® for the woman on the run who thrives in her skin.

Something told me exactly what this dress should be and before I could think about it the words fell out of my mouth. The Dream Dress® takes you from day to dinner, from dawn to dusk, from dining to dancing, to your wildest heartfelt dreams. It’s a dress that every woman will be able to wear in comfort, in class, in colors, to work to play to wherever her heart leads her.” Many times, over the course of three years, I nearly gave up – spending my own money, working long hours, spinning my wheels and trying to hold on. Cindy never wavered…she’s optimistic to a fault. “You can do this Lorelei I’ve got your back.”

Your Best Friend Beauty

Stacey Schieffelin & Lorelei Shellist

Then out of the blue I received an email from a gal I used to model with on the runways of the world. We were friends in our 20’s but hadn’t seen one another in forever. Stacey Schieffelin. Stacey, and her husband David, built her cosmetic line YBF Beauty line – (which stands for Your Best Friend) into a multimillion dollar company. Stacey sells her products on the Home Shopping Network so she knows the ins and outs of  the network trade. I asked her if she would mentor me and she asked me for my pitch.

I took a breath and gave her my elevator speech on The Dream Dress® will take you from day to dinner, from dawn to dusk, from dining to dancing, to your wildest heartfelt dreams.”  Stacey laughed and said, “Lorelei, I hear pitches everyday and that’s the best one yet!” Send me your NDA and anything else you want to share with me and let’s see where this goes. She then introduced me to the woman in Montreal who had helped her put out her own apparel line and we hit it off right away. Cydney Mar is a fantastic designer in her own right, she knows merchandising, manufacturing, and fashion inside out. She “gets me,” and she “gets my line.”

Your New best Friend! is Your Old Best Friend! Stacey Schieffelin & Lorelei Shellist

Your New best Friend! is Your Old Best Friend! Stacey Schieffelin & Lorelei Shellist

After a couple of months of communicating back and forth between Stacey,David, and Cydney Mar about my brand, it became evident that we were all aligned to develop my Runway Runaway Collection.®  Thankfully my dream team, with Cindy Gloeckler as my right hand, and Shelly E. my social network manager as my left, all my lovely ducklings are falling in line. I have never been more excited in my life and I have done some exciting things in my time. I am grateful, enthused and amused by the journey I am on. I hope you’ll come along too as the Runway Runaway Collection® evolves and launches in 2018 because I guarantee there will be The Dream Dress® just for you!

 Stay tuned for more Runway Runaway Fashion: The Journey of a Muse

Lorelei Shellist

“Don’t let your dreams runaway from you!”

 

 

Right here. Right now. I AM Enough

Right here. Right now. I AM Enough – 6 Steps to healing your own upsets.

As a dedicated believer in the “self help” way of living my life, I know I must practice what I preach and more importantly, what I have learned. I spent 3 years studying spiritual psychology in order to learn the deeper meanings of why people do what they do. Also, I wanted credentials so I could help them do better. As fortune would have it, I found the University of Santa Monica. USM offered two Masters programs; one in Spiritual Psychology (SP), and the other in Consciousness, Health and Healing. (CHH)

It’s been nearly ten years since I walked through those glass doors at USM and I have been assisting the faculty in ushering new students through the program ever since. Why do I do this? To keep my learnings alive so I don’t get the same magazine with a different model on the cover every month.

I must remember… Right here. Right now. I AM Enough!I AM ENOUGH

I knew when I applied to go to USM that my education there would be “hands on” and “experiential.” It’s the reason I chose it. So many “self-help” programs, motivational seminars, and workshops that I had taken, were just fluff. They “fired up” the places inside me that hurt just enough to make me feel good, but that feeling never lasted more than two weeks after the course was over. I knew it would take more than that to re-program my old way of thinking about things, and more to the point, how I thought about myself. Here I am nearly 10 years later, still practicing a more conscious way of being in my life, and some days I still wake up with some of the same old uncomfortable, upsetting, pain. Only now, I know how to work with those feelings – because I know how to identify and clear them. Thanks to my teachers Dr’s. Ron and Mary Hulnick, and everyone who has ever been to USM.

Many of you who know me, read my book, or even “follow” me on social networks, probably think I Live the life of Riley, (whoever that is.) Yes, I do get to do many out of the ordinary things like walk red carpets, get all-access backstage at Def Leppard shows, host fashion film festivals, hang out with public figures, and follow my dreams, (brag-brag-brag) but only because I put myself out there. I go for it, and that takes the courage to get past my fears and upsets.  Of course I post the things I think will make people smile, and admire whatever it is I am doing. I don’t believe that Facebook is a place to play the victim and complain about my life. I go to USM or to my therapist to do that – because I know there – they will encourage me to take accountability for my upset, so I can “clear it once and for all,” as Dr. Ron Hulnick would say. One thing I know now is that we all suffer because most of us share the same rotten beliefs about ourselves – for no apparent reason.

You are probably wondering by now, “well if she isn’t living the Life of Riley, then what could she possibly be upset about?” And I am here to tell you – its probably not much different from whatever it is you are upset about- it just has a different magazine cover on it. For example, I have a colleague that I work with who can really make my blood boil. She is someone I respect and admire for her tenacity and non-stop-go-getter attitude in business. It’s why I hired her. On the other hand, she is a bitch to work with on many levels. Now I know that sounds like a projection – but hang on now- I’m just getting started on the judgments’ I have about her. The only difference between me and her is- I make a conscious effort to grow from the judgments’ I’m making by clearing them from inside myself. Thank God. Otherwise I would just fire her and move on to the next person who would most likely give me the same experience. You see that’s how it works, until we clear the judgments – those places inside that hurt- we just keep on having the same issues come up over and over- same magazine with a different model on the cover.

Last night she and I had a text battle on an issue having to do with a project we are working on together. She complained that some of the email addresses I gave her were wrong and implied that it was because someone didn’t know what they were doing. I asked her to send me a copy of the bounced back emails she was trying to send and I would take care of it myself so she wouldn’t have to go look for them. I reminded her that I have been asking her to copy me on all the emails she was sending on my behalf a few times, but for some reason she refuses to do that. She refuses to let me talk to her assistant too, for whatever reason. Maybe because she has been disrespectful and condescending to my own assistant, she may fear I’d do that to hers – or worse I might learn something about her that she doesn’t want me to know. I would never be rude to her assistant- in fact I applaud anyone who can work with this woman who is so hell bent on proving herself instead of being accountable. I reminded her in the text, (she wouldn’t talk on the phone with me- she was too busy- but she certainly had lots of time to text) that we are supposed to be on the same team. You can imagine why my blood began to boil. She would not cooperate. She would not share the emails- she would not let me connect with her assistant – she would not talk to me directly- she would not let me help her –she just wanted to complain that my assistant gave her the wrong emails. I told her it wasn’t my assistants fault and that she was doing the best she could, and that I would not ask my assistant to go back and find the addresses because obviously – whatever my assistant was doing – was never going to be good enough! I told her it would help if she could be more of a team player.

These texts went back and forth for over an hour- I never got anything I asked for. All I got was a review of her resume on how long she’d been doing this, and how good at it she is, and how I have no right to question her, and blah blah blah. It’s no wonder I woke up with anxiety asking myself why I’m paying this person who feels she has to prove herself to me? I don’t need this kind of aggravation….and then I asked spirit…”How is this happening “for”me? My inner counselor kicked in answering that question. I knew what I had to do. I had to learn the lesson. I had to identify my projections – my judgments on her – because I knew they would lead right to the heart of the judgments I had on myself. I would have to forgive them in order to heal them from deep inside. Otherwise, I would fire her and have the same experience with someone else.

So what were my judgments? I judged her for bragging about all the years of experience she had in her business, for being condescending to my assistant, rude, unaccountable, and for having to defend herself and prove her worth to me…that was it! That was what bothered me the most. She’s always telling me how great she is at her job- how long she’s been doing it- how successful she is- and I am thinking “well if you’re so great at your job – why do you feel you have to convince me?”

What did I do with all those judgments?

First, I asked myself how she was being a mirror to me. I identified the judgments – and then I forgave them. I didn’t have to forgive her– I had to forgive myself for judging and for buying into those beliefs about myself. I had to be accountable for my judgments first, in order to forgive them.

                                         “To forgive means to give as I gave before.”

I judged her for being uncooperative, rude, condescending, and the big one: always having to defend herself and prove her self worth by bragging about her years in the business and how good at it she is. Then I had to ask myself – how am I that way to myself and to others? (This is why judging others is so potent- its like throwing rocks at glass houses!) And the deeper cut- how often do I feel the need to prove myself to others?

The next step is doing the forgiveness and mine went like this: “I forgive myself for judging her as rude, condescending, un-cooperative, and for always having to prove herself. – I forgive myself for judging my-self for ever being rude, condescending, uncooperative, not being a team player, feeling the need to defend myself or prove myself” …and the deeper cut- “I forgive myself for buying into the mis-belief that I ever have to prove my worth to anyone for any reason.” WHY? Because I don’t have to prove anything. Right here. Right now. I AM Enough.

I can forgive myself for being so hard on myself too. If I validate myself I don’t need to get validation from out there. So, I learn to praise myself for all I have been and done, and for who I am today. I am good enough. I am already good enough – we are all good enough – and somehow worthiness is the thing we struggle with most. I don’t know why, but I do know after years of doing USM, prison projects, working with at-risk teens- women’s empowerment seminars… I’ve witnessed the fact that we all have the same core issues…and the things we need to clear and forgive are our own judgments on our own self-worth. It wasn’t until I recognized the projection and did the self forgiveness that I could move into the gratitude part. As I exhaled the judgments and forgave myself – I inhaled the lesson and appreciated myself for getting it.

I became grateful for the learning, grateful for the woman who gave me the opportunity, grateful for the university, grateful for the experience and grateful to myself that I would give myself the time and love to heal the issue at the core- once and for all. I’m not upset by her and I’m not upset with me. I am at peace. This is where self-love starts- giving yourself the time it takes to learn-heal and grow. Now I have a new magazine and a new cover that reads:

                                            Right here. Right now. I AM Enough. And so are all of you.

6- Steps to healing your own upsets.

1.) Identify – Look for the judgments you have on the person, the situation and on yourself.

2.) Be Accountable– Own it. Be honest with yourself. Where do those judgments reside in you? What are the beliefs you hold about yourself that don’t serve you?

3.) Forgiveness– Forgive yourself for buying into those irrational beliefs you have about yourself.

4.) Love & Compassion– Apply love to the place where those judgments lived. Be compassionate with yourself and others. We are all learning. There is an empty space there after a clearing and you want to breath love into those spaces. You deserve it. We all do.

5.) Appreciate the lesson, the person who gave it to you, and yourself for getting it! Say, “I am so grateful for this opportunity to heal and grow.” Thank yourself for showing up to the plate.

6.) Praise yourself. Give yourself kudos. Acknowledge yourself for your honesty, vulnerability and courage to do the work and love yourself.

 So dear friends – repeat after me:

Right here. Right now. I declare I am enough.

For more on the USM education go to http://universityofsantamnoica.edu

Blessings and Love,

Lorelei

 

 

 

 

 

The Explorer Fashion Icon Archetype stops to smell the flowers.

The Explorer Fashion Icon Archetype stops to smell the flowers.

On a recent trip to Ontario, Canada, I happened upon a lovely young creative artist named Shireen Nadir at an organic winery called Frogpond Farm in Niagara.

I couldn’t help being drawn towards The Blue Brick Jewelry table because the designs are so unique and magnetic to the eye. I immediately whipped out my trusty iPhone and asked if I could take a quick little video of her to share with all of you. Shireen was delighted and jumped towards the opportunity like a cat to catnip.

Shireen comes across as soft spoken and quite knowledgeable about her craft. Not only that, she speaks warmly of her fiancé, and soon to be husband, who is the silversmith and metal maker who designs the encasements that host the delicate flowers molded in resin.

Because Shireen is confident in her understanding of how to make this unique art, she doesn’t mind telling you everything about it. In fact, she has written a step-by-step book featuring her own illustrative photography sharing all of her knowledge in detail with those interested in learning all you need to know about resin jewelry.

However, Shireen doesn’t stop there… she is also an avid photographer, a diligent knitter, (her knitwear designs sell on Etsy and Ravelry.com) and and a blogger too! In her blogs she’ll tell you all about her yarn designs, color schemes, and most likely, she’ll even teach you to knit it yourself!

The Explorer Fashion Icon Archetype™ stops to smell the flowers…and wants to wear them too!

As an image consultant and beauty blogger myself, it is always refreshing to come across a true artist that inspires me too. I am now the proud owner of a very unique necklace made by Shireen and her Salvadoran, husband to be. (pictured here)

The Explorer Fashion Icon Archetype

The Blue Brick jewelry by Shireen Nadir.

The delicate heart of an iris flower was my mothers’ favorite flower, so now when I wear it, I think of my dear mum. Being that one of my own dominant Fashion Icon Archetypes™ is the “Explorer” archetype…I love to find things on my travels that nobody else has. I want to feel a connection to everything I wear. It has to have a story, a memory, and a feeling attached to it. It gives meaning to the things I wear. As author and philosopher Eckhart Tolle, (who ironically lives in Canada,) reminds us… beauty is everywhere… it encourages us to be present. Tolle says that when we stop and smell the flowers, we will be “grounded in stillness and inner peace.” It is all about “awareness.”

That is why meeting Shireen and discovering her one-of-a-kind, hand crafted jewelry made from real flowers, was like finding buried treasure for me! I am all about bringing consciousness to dressing and helping others become more aware of what they are buying, wearing, and the messages they are sending about themselves every time they walk out their door.

This beautifully, mindfully, crafted piece of wearable art speaks to my inner explorer as well as my outer explorer. When I made that purchase I knew that this was money well spent. My purchase had meaning to me and hopefully to others too. Why, because it is beautiful, and beauty is what I love to share with the world. Not only that, I know whose hands made this tiny piece of “her-story.” And I am blessed to wear it always.

This Explorer Fashion Icon Archetype™ not only stops to smell the flowers…she wants to wear them too!

“Bring Your Style to Life!”

Lorelei

Travel Tote Tips #3 – Hair Essentials

Travel Tote Tips #3 Hair Essentials

How is your hair behaving this summer? If it’s anything like mine – curly, frizzy, untamed, it goes wicked in the humidity – the ocean dampness, and even under the hot lights of the world of glamour I sometimes travel in. That’s why I have narrowed down what I actually need to have on hand….simple products to sooth and smooth my hair! I have created this video Travel Tote tips #3 Hair Essentials to help you simplify what you need too!

How many of you actually like your hair? It seems we all wish we had some other type of hair. When I was a teenager, all the “popular girls” at the beach had long blonde, stick straight, smooth hair. It was Christy Brinkley hair here, and Christy Brinkley hair there 🙁  Here I was with this frizzy, auburn, wavy hair. My best friend Cindy Cowsill had even curlier hair than I did and we used to wine about it all the time. We didn’t have hair straightening wands or flat irons back then. So, what did we do? Before going out to the summer parties I would call over the backyard fence to Cindy’s….”Turn on the iron Cin!” Then I’d climb up the ladder I’d placed at the back of her tiki room roof, walk across it… and then climb the pulldown stairs up to the attic to  Cindy’s bedroom. We’d then take turns laying our heads down sideways on top of the ironing board, carefully smoothing our hair on top of  it, and cover it with a towel so as not to singe it. We would then iron each others hair as flat as we could get it!

Looking back at pictures of the two of us then, I still giggle and roar. I had this wave at the top of my forehead that I could not get rid of – and the rest of my hair was flattened as straight as straw! Cindy had it on both sides of her middle part too! And the worst part of it was… living here by the ocean, it didn’t last!!! As soon as we’d start dancing the heat and moisture would trickle down from our scalps and the frizzy curls would return to our dismay. Oh Cindy, how did we ever survive?

So, here I am today with Travel Tote tips #3 Hair Essentials you can add or subtract whatever works for you. Flat irons, curling irons, round brushes…and PRODUCTS! Whatever it takes to work it to your own liking 🙂

I wish I’d known then what I know now. I hope you will enjoy my Travel Tote tips #3 Hair Essentials video to help you make sure you have the basic ingredients to look natural and beautiful at any given time. It’s all you’ll need to get up and go girl!

Travel smart!

Lorelei

 

 

LA YOGA Fall Fashion Style: “Yes!”

LA YOGA Fall Fashion Style: “Yes!” Styling LA YOGA Magazine Cover & 16-Page Fashion Spread for Sept. Issue.  Here I am with a lifetime of experience in fashion as a model, and as a Muse, to the most talented designers of our time. Now more than ever, my heart’s work is to be…

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A Wedding Dressed is a Wedding Blessed

screenshot of article A Wedding Dressed is a Wedding Blessed by Lorelei Shellist

Lorelei Shellist’s  Style Column in the April Edition of the Los Angeles FindBliss magazine. Wedding Style One of the most important and memorable times in people’s lives is their wedding day. Our response should be one of mutual respect and gratitude. How we show up for the happy couple says it all.  |…

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L’Wren Scott: Life lessons learned through love

Gossip and Pretending to know…

Lorelei, L'Wren and Gloria at runway rehearsals in Dusseldorf

Lorelei, L’Wren and Gloria at runway rehearsals in Dusseldorf

A few weeks ago upon learning about the tragic death of L’Wren Scott, a familiar heavy breath contained “itself” inside of me. We spent a very meaningful part of our lives together back in our runaway modeling days. L’Wren and I had shared the trials and tribulations of twenty-something dreamers following our hearts in a world of our own, where significance was everything, and girls like us had to prove ourselves at every turn. We were part of a kind of sorority and held each other up when the chips were down. I had to make a conscious effort to exhale upon the reality of this upsetting news, as I had not seen L’Wren in recent times.

The life of a model can be a lonely one when living out of a suitcase is de-rigueur. You never know when or from where you’ll get your next booking and meal. The competition is fierce. You are constantly being evaluated based on your looks. We ate away our own self-esteem like maggots on leftovers. In reality, we were just young women in search of love and attention at the cost of our own self worth. Yet L’Wren and I never gave up. Even when they told us “You aren’t good enough” or “blonde enough” or in L’Wren’s case…”You’re just too tall.”

Dusseldorf

Dusseldorf

As a young traveler and adventurer before the days of smart phone cameras, I was the one documenting everything! Backstage behind the scenes I was always taking pictures of my model sisters dressing and undressing, sleeping under racks of designers’ clothes, or having picnics at the make-up mirrors. Most models were just trying to nurture their most basic needs. I searched through my collection of backstage photos to find those pictures I had taken of L’Wren, this lanky, raven-haired beauty, in happier times. Every image I have of her reflected light filled, glorious smiles and laughter. There were pictures of us kicking up our legs follies style during rehearsals for fashion shows in Dusseldorf, Paris and Milan. The outfits L’Wren wore then were stylishly edgy, and ahead of their time. At only 20 years of age, she had an inner sense of fashion and was a true fashion icon in her own right.

I read the speculations appearing as authority or ‘inside scoop” in tabloids stating, “Why would a girl who seemingly had everything take her own life?” I suddenly found my own pain reignited. As the former fiancé of the late guitarist Steve Clark from Def Leppard, I had been asked that same question a thousand times about him. In my own quest to try and answer that question, it led me to write Runway RunAway: A Backstage Pass to Fashion, Romance & Rock ’n Roll a few years ago. My life experience in losing Steve through his own tortuous journey of self loathing, pain and consequent slow suicide led me to delve into 20 years of 12 -Step meetings, reading (or writing) multiple self-help books and ultimately earning double degrees in Spiritual Psychology and Consciousness Health & Healing from the University of Santa Monica. I currently volunteer with the Freedom to Choose Foundation, facilitating communication skills and self-forgiveness with the inmates at the Valley State Prison in Chowchilla, California.  I really came to terms with what was bothering me most about L’Wren Scot’s death during a session when one of the inmates practiced a technique called “perception checking” on me.

The prickly pieces of my pain were two-fold: One piece was that there was this “twenty something” part of me that needed to grieve, but I was not acknowledging the younger part of me still crying inside. I felt I had no right to grieve since I hadn’t seen L’Wren in years. Those haunting irrational beliefs of unworthiness and insignificance covered me like clouds. I had been following her glorious career path, her glamorous love life and I was so happy for her personal and professional success in the world. I’d often smile thinking, “Wow, good for her, she made it!” You see many of the girls I knew didn’t make it. They’d struggled with their own addictions or died and caused their untimely deaths as a result of those same feelings of insignificance in the fashion world. Memories came forth of L’Wren and I sharing musty hotel rooms on the road, whispering in the dark recanting stories of our childhood neglect and abandonment. L’Wren was an orphan adopted at birth and I a runaway teen. We fended for ourselves back then and now that feeling of being “alone in the world” was calling me back.

The second piece of my upset was the presumptuous press surrounding her death…what I feel is the act of pretending to know. Speculations appeared about her financial debt, possible issues with her boyfriend or cancellation of her fashion show and finally “her losing face” as the cause. No one has written about L’Wren’s inner pain as a potential cause. It was as if her outer world reality is now defining her identity. In reality, to L’Wren it was her inner world that truly mattered. How can any of us ever profess to know what it felt like to have been abandoned by birth parents and then abandoned again when her own adoptive parents died? None of us will never know her suffering or how she felt about herself. What we can express is our compassion and love for her and our own.

The tragic death of L’Wren taught me just how painful gossip can be. In pretending to know or make assumptions about another person, we are gossiping. To quote Dr. David Paul from the University of Santa Monica and Co-Founder of the Freedom to Choose Foundation who so skillfully mirrored back to me in my grief: “It is even more painful when we gossip to ourselves.” In other words, every time I say negative things to myself about myself, I am gossiping inside myself. This is where the pain of “pretending to know” begins.

Runway rehearsals- Dusseldorf

L’Wren Scott in Germany –

Me telling myself I wasn’t worthy of grieving the loss of her and that our friendship was insignificant, only hurt that younger part of me who indeed shared love, laughter, runways and whispers in the dark with the beautiful L’Wren. Here I was,  imprisoning myself from the truth of who I am as a worthy person. In that moment, standing in front of over 300 female prisoners and anchoring myself in my worthiness, I forgave myself for my own misinterpretations of who I am. I am so grateful to have shared even a piece of my life with such a strong and gentle soul such as hers. Thank you L’Wren, you made the world a more beautiful place and it is my intention to add to the sum-total of significant love and beauty in this world you left behind.

See you again up on the Runway in the Sky.

Forever and Ever,
Lorelei Shellist

Best-Selling Author, Fashion/Beauty Columnist @ Find Bliss Magazine, Model, Spokesperson, Host and Fashion Icon™ Stylist -SAG / PEN USA / FGI / FTC / USM

Pretending to know PDF

Why Marianne Wilkinson?

Hello Conscious Beauties, People are asking why I am involving myself in politics now too! Please bear with me friends as I explore this opportunity to grow. It’s not enough I do service work for At-Risk Teens and Women in Prison, or assist women as a Fashion & Style expert in…

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